10/20/2009

Coming Soon from Swallowdown Press: Silent Weapons for Quiet Wars by Cody Goodfellow

Out in late October from Cody Goodfellow and Swallowdown Press, with wraparound cover art by Alan M Clark, an Introduction by John Skipp and an Afterword from yours truly (and excellent book design courtesy of CM3):



"This is high-end psychological surrealist horror meets bottom-feeding low-life crime in a techno-thrilling science fiction world full of Lovecraft and magic..." -JOHN SKIPP, NY Times Bestselling author of The Bridge and The Long Last Call

"Cody Goodfellow's work is '80s vintage horror with a contemporary edge. An exemplary wordsmith, his prose sticks a needle in your brain and gives it a twist. This stuff is Lovecraft on acid. Silent Weapons for Quiet Wars is anything but quiet: it announces Goodfellow's continued presence among the leading cohort of modern horror with a thunderclap." -LAIRD BARRON, author of The Imago Sequence & Other Stories

"Cody Goodfellow is a force to be reckoned with. There are things within these pages with teeth on 'em. You've been warned..." -NORM PARTRIDGE, author of The Man With the Barbed-Wire Fists and Dark Harvest

In the brutal zero-sum game of the new future, every meal is a murder, and every act of love is a declaration of genocidal war. To survive it, you will have to make alliances with the sleeping demons in your blood; learn to wear new names and faces, and shed your soul; feed your inner child to the machine, before it eats you alive; build and defend your own heaven; and become one of the sacred, secret tools with which nature reinvents itself. To win this game, you will have to change into everything that you are not. To play you need only open this book and arm yourself with...

Silent Weapons for Quiet Wars

Cheers,

JRJ

9/14/2008

Goddamn

R.I.P. D.F.W.

Just got home to seven phone messages about his passing. It's an outright fucking loss to the mental landscape. He was gifted. Truly gifted. At least he was here during our lifetime. I can't say any more right now.

3/16/2008

Smallpressapalooza Powell's Reading!

Thursday, March 20th


Powell's City of Books (1005 W Burnside, Portland, OR 97209) is the largest "new and used" bookstore on the planet (so far as I know) and has been an integral part of my life both as a childhood reader and an adult writer. That's why I'm very excited to be able to announce my first reading at the venue. Here's the basic dirt on the event from Powells.com (with compatriots and myself shown in bold):
_____

Our vibrant writing community has long been powered by various DIY reading series, zinesters, upstart printing companies, the Independent Publishing Resource Center, and cultural hubs like Reading Frenzy. Help us celebrate this unique culture during Small Press Month. This special five-hour event will feature 15-minute readings by 15 of the most exciting small press voices in Portland.
Reading Schedule (Don't be late! Times are exact.)
5:00 Tom Blood
5:15 Geronimo Tagatac
5:30 Mary Rechner
6:00 Keith Rosson
6:15 Kristopher Young
6:30 Kimberly Warner-Cohen
7:00 Kate Lopresti
7:15 Alex Wrekk
7:30 Erica Schreiner
8:00 Lidia Yuknavitch
8:15 Tiffany Edwards
8:30 Steve Katz
9:00 Jeremy Robert Johnson
9:15 Mykle Hansen
9:30 Carlton Mellick III
_____

Nine to ten is the Bizarro hour. Our shit tends to be less "family friendly" so we got the closeout slot, which I think is great. We're like the blue comedians of the lit scene. Yes, each reading is only fifteen minutes, but I know we're trying to powerpack those minutes so it should be a fun show. 9:45-10 is an open space where we can do Q & A and book signing, though I'm guessing by that point most folks will be more anxious about heading out for some drinks.

I'm really looking forward to this event and I think it'll be a great time. And I'm grateful to Powell's (and Kevin Sampsell at Burnside) for making this happen and giving so much support to the underdogs during Small Press Month.

Can't wait to see you there. It's going to be a great time.

Volta Update


The NYE show in SF was insane. I'll have more on that next weekend.
For now there are two items:
1. The Bedlam in Goliath exists and it is incredible. You should cop it.

2. The bio/album write-up thing I did for them is now ingrained at TheMarsVolta.com as their actual Bio, and it's a sharp looking .pdf for anyone who wants to check it out.
That is all.
Much more blog (covering November '07 to Now) very soon. I swear.
See you at Powell's this Thursday!
Cheers,
JRJ

11/06/2007

"The Bedlam in Goliath"

That's the title of the newest Mars Volta album, due out on January '08. I mention this not only because it's exciting in general, but because I happen to be tangentially involved.

I'm a huge fan of the Volta, and it turns out that Cedric digs my writing, so a while back I was asked to do a sort of bio/album-genesis-story write-up for their new record.

It looks like the piece was posted today, earlier than expected, maybe to counter some other info leaks about the project (it doesn't hit until January '08). So it's currently the top item over at their website (http://themarsvolta.com/) under the heading "The Mars Volta’s Descent Into Bedlam: A Rhapsody In Three Parts." It's a .doc file right now, but I'm guessing it'll be built into the site in the next few days.

So if you're into the Volta, or want to read a truly bizarre story about murder and Ouija boards, you should check it out.

Plus, after the write-up there's a very strange bit of fixed form prose that I wrote for the album. Cedric calls it "another riddle within the riddle of the album." I call it a coded language symmetrina. Because I am a nerd.

Much, much more blog soon, regarding comics, meeting El-P, my South American debut, Angel Dust Apocalypse being taught in college, etc.

Oh, and here's a link to the video for Bedlam's first single "Wax Simulacra": http://video.umrg.com/marsvolta/waxsimulacra_revised/quicktime.asp

Best wishes,

JRJ

8/28/2007

Quicky: Big Reading Imminent & The Punk Horror Interrogation

PDX Lit-mania

aaltoflier

The flier pretty much says it all (plus some). I haven't done a Portland reading since Broadway Books a few months back, and since this new venue allows (even encourages) drinking, there should be shenanigans a-plenty. This is highly unlikely to be similar in tone and content to anything, say, McEwan's ever done in Portland, so I encourage the enthusiastic, the curious, and those who simply wish to drink near books, to drop in and check it out. Should be a-typical lit madness.

Punk Horror Interview

I sat down with the braintrust of the upcoming Punk Horror charity antho and answered some very personal questions about Bizarro, my shady musical roots, "burrito-loving," and much more. Clicking below will inter-pop you to one of the strangest Q & A's I've ever done:

http://www.punkhorror.com/html/jeremy_robert_johnson.html

Much more soon.

Cheers,

JRJ

3/28/2007

THE GOOD OL' "SO YOU THOUGHT I WAS DEAD" POST

alcatraz
Photo Proof of Existence 1: The beard and the famous jail.

Well, I'm not dead.

Despite all the evidence to the contrary, despite any pernicious rumors that might have worked their way to you, I remain a living, breathing entity.

I think.

I have been in this weird sort of limbo for about four months now. The cause- Genetic alteration to a new type of creature: Homo Domesticus. The shift happened suddenly. I sprouted a few gray hairs, went to bed one night, and woke up thinking, "I can't live in a goddamn apartment anymore."

Thus began the Quest for the House. A house of my own. A place where I didn't have to listen to my neighbor singing Dionne Warwick at two in the morning (although she can carry a tune in her own weird way, sort of like a more coherent Wesley Willis in a sultry mood). A place where I didn't feel my cash was just going into a black hole. A place that wasn't painted piss-stain yellow where you feel the slightest vibration caused by the other tenants.

You get the idea.

Problem 1: I wanted to live in the Portland metro area. Not the burbs, or outlying Portland-y regions. In Portland. And that's expensive. And as I quickly discovered, mortgage lenders are not mightily impressed by the intermittent and basically speculative wages of a fiction writer.

These wages were fine for my pre-Domesticus era, good enough to allow for some Taco Bell dinners and a few concerts and a vaguely bohemian lifestyle in a wee apartment.

But the bankers weren't having it. They wanted a dependable job to balance out my debt-to-income ratio. So I buckled down, told myself everything was going to be okay, and got myself a day job.

Dress shirts/ID badges/cubicles/commute doldrums. Five days a week, eight hours a day.

Fuck.

So, I had locked down a nice enough job, which I'll spare you the details of, lest the miasma of boredom that floats in my skull may enter yours. Then came...

Problem 2: The job made me fat.

shockandawe
Photo Proof of Existence #2: Suddenly realizing that metabolism is _really_ slowing down.

Within a few months I managed to slap a nice doughy mid-section onto a frame that had previously been running marathons/10K's/5K's on a regular basis. The job is deeply sedentary, basically eight hours a day hunched over paperwork and a keyboard. And to keep up with my existing writing obligations I was coming home and typing all night, too. Not a lot of running going on. I started using the railing while going up my stairs and getting chest pains.

It was disconcerting.

In order to save myself from tubby bitchdom I had to find a way to jam some fitness activities back into my life. This meant less time at the keyboard after the first work shift of the day was done. This meant getting my mileage back up and nursing blood-blisters the size of fifty cent pieces after multi-hour sessions on the trails at Forest Park.

Luckily this venture has been fruitful. I've carved off about half of the "bonus material" around my waist, and have a decent resting heart rate again. But this new day job combined with the lifting and running is throwing a nasty wrench into my writing biz especially when coupled with...

Problem 3: The Quest for the House has gone quagmire.

Even with the job I'm not making that sweet cocaine or I.T. money (like many of the people my age that can afford the PDX city life). So I'm in a smaller house market, and that means looking at places built before the invention of, say, nails and levels. Old, decrepit bungalows and ranch-style shacks with dry rot/pest problems/silty or absent foundations/busted sewer lines (with complimentary rat holes)/shot roofs/jury rigged electricity/convicted rapists across the way/worked-over siding/collapsing chimneys/etc.

But the only way you can find out about those problems in real detail is to pay professionals to tell you how shitty the house is.

Imagine you fall in love with a nice older lady. You spend hours on the phone and filling out papers to court her. You visit her regularly. You get engaged. Then you pay a bunch of people to put her through series of tests and they tell you she's got psoriasis and eczema and cancer in her marrow. Plus carpenter ants. And then you have to leave her at the escrow altar.

Imagine this keeps happening to you again and again.

And imagine in the meantime that you've got something you really love. Let's call it writing for the sake of the loose and shambling illustrative story. You love writing, and you love talking to publishers and readers and other writers, but all that goes neglected while you work a soulless (but still pretty nice) job and try to fend off technical obesity and find a place to live that won't send you banko or collapse under you while you sleep.

Imagining these things might give you a loose idea of why I have seemed to be dead.

But the tide is changing. I have rediscovered a sort of bull-headed willpower that I had abandoned as exhausting in the past (and I'm buying a lot of Red Bull). I may have finally found a house worth purchasing. And I'm building some balance between my day job and my personal health.

What This Means:

The four-hundred or so pieces of correspondence I've received via MySpace and my website are about to get answered. I answer every bit of mail. If you sent me something it has not turned to vapor. You will hear from me in the coming weeks.

Work on Tuning Fork will shift from near-dead to moderate shuffle/top-level hustle (depending on how close my agent is to punting me into the sea).

JRJ.com should see a serious revamp. It's so goofy looking right now.

I'll be putting the thumb-screws to the two guys who are supposed to be finishing up new novels for Swallowdown Press this year. One of the guys is, I swear to God, launching what appears to be a very solid and respectable career in hip hop, so it's tough to get him to sit down and type when there's so much glory/money/groupies involved with the alternative. I understand, but man, this guy can write too so I hope he finds time to work over some prose too.

And this blog is going to be super-sized. I have a lot of catching up to do. Here goes:


NEW STORIES COMING OUT THIS YEAR-

xmasp06te
Photo Proof of Existence 3: Celebrating DMX-mas with Totally Explode. Hair absent, beard barely present, but definitely not dead.

"Trigger Variation" is a brand new story about equine steroids and the anti-sentience movement. It's also a story about a bunch of straight-edgy guys called EndLiners causing a shit ton of trouble in a small town. I'm proud to say it's going to be included in The Vault of Punk Horror which I've just learned is also going to feature an introduction from Mr. Famous Guy of Famous Band fame (edited because publisher hasn't made official announcement yet). Doesn't seem like a traditional choice for a punk tome until you consider his decision to confront the PMRC and appear as a giant, angry transexual on his album covers. Then he seems punk in his own screaming, glammy way.

I keep telling the editor that once he receives Mr. Famous Guy's intro he's got to send back an email saying, "We're not gonna take it! No we're not gonna take it!"

But the odds of that actually happening (or coming across as funny) are pretty small. Still, as a guy for whom Famous Band was a gateway drug to metal, I'm stoked to have Famous Guy involved. Everyone I know that has ever interacted with him said he was a very nice guy, and he is a big supporter of the indie horror scene.

"Consumerism" is a sort of follow-up tale to "Priapism" from ADA. It involves a Hummer wreck, a Frito Snak-Pak, and a pinch of Greek tragedy, and it'll be appearing in the very anticipated Falling From The Sky anthology.



Head here to check out the diverse line-up on the soon-to-be-released mega-mix of literary radness.

"When Susurrus Stirs" is a truly hideous tale of parasite horror. It starts out weird and ends up way beyond weird, in some gooey realm that I feel a pinch guilty for having flushed from my brain. It'll be appearing in the next installment of the ever-excellent Bare Bone series (#10, I believe). I'm also very happy that the story will appear along with new work from two of my favorite writers on the planet, Cody Goodfellow and Tom Piccirrilli. Should be a very sharp line-up.

UPDATE: Looks like this one just hit the market. And check out the cover:



"Faded Into Impalpability" is really four stories from me, four stories from Nebula/Stoker/Pushcart/etc.-winner Bruce Holland Rogers, and a central collaboration. It's all wrapped up into this weird sort of fixed prose beast called a symmetrina.

It should see print in Cemetery Dance around the end of '07. We tried to change it up with each piece while sticking to the theme so it's got outright horror, bizarro, subtle suspense, "literary" stuff, etc. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it'll appear along with one of the new Stephen Graham Jones stories CD's got coming this year. His last CD appearance ("Raphael") was severely creepy.

I've mentioned this one before, but "Simple Equations" is another brand new story that should see print in the excellent A Dark and Deadly Valley anthology very soon.

So that's five (well 8.5 if you count each story in "Faded") new stories coming out in'07. And if I can manage to fill an editors request to chop about 3,000 words off of a story called "States of Glass" it may find a home at a very top-shelf literary mag. So if things really work out that's a minimum of 9.5 published servings of my weird shit while I work my way through writing the best new novel that I possibly can.


NEW NET SHENANIGANS-

Some very sharp reviews of Extinction Journals at The Zone (UK), The Pedestal, and 3AM.

Here are a few samples for people who don't like to click out of blogs (or to agitate those who could give a shit about reviews):

"Jeremy Robert Johnson's novella of the apocalypse is a supremely weird reading experience, sitting somewhere between Chuck Palahniuk and John Wyndham. Extinction Journals is a hybrid, a mutant child of 1950s' paranoia and contemporary dystopia. Bleak, funny, apocalyptic and affecting it stays with you long after you've finished it." From The Zone.

"Equally profound and hilarious, [Extinction Journals] contains not only some of the most thoughtful examinations of humanity’s need for companionship to come along in several years, but also some of the best descriptions of loneliness and thanatophobia, the pervasive human fear of death." From The Pedestal.

So those are nice.

And although it's not new to people who've already read my first collection, "Precedents" is now available for free on the net in the second issue of up-and-coming Bizarro mag The Swallow's Tail. Fans of the weird who have already read my story would do well to check it out- my tale is by far the most orthodox thing in a very strange magazine.

"Precedents" is a decent sample for readers who want to test the waters before checking out a full book of mine. "Literary" folks seem to dig the story, and it received an Honorable Mention in the most recent Year's Best Fantasy and Horror, so it seems to work for people outside of genre (which is always nice).

And although I've mentioned this before, there's some new content for bilingual readers up at the smart and stylish Proyecto Liquido. You may have already seen the elegant translation of Snowfall, but there's also a new interview up with some mook called Me. Also check out their interview with my Canadian brother (and literary pugilist) Craig Davidson.


SPEAKING OF THE CRAIG-

I've mentioned Davidson before and I hope anyone who has enjoyed my work has checked out his collection Rust and Bone. And I have to say that reading the intro to his newest book The Fighter is partially responsible for recharging my writing engine during this stressed-out stretch of my life. Craig is "the business" when it comes to storytelling, and if you believe otherwise it seems likely that he'll challenge you to a round of fisticuffs while promoting his new book.

I've noticed a series of weird coincidences between myself and Craig that really do make me think of doppelgangers and Lynchian dualities and how much time I waste thinking about dumb shit like this when I should be writing. Here goes a brief rundown:

We've both come from a horror-writing background. He hiding/writing as a pseudonymous hobo named Pat Lestewka and I writing as Jeremy Robert Johnson because I am proud of my horror heritage and I couldn't think of any good fake names (aside from Krystal Winthorn, which is the name I write my Woman's World romance stories under- they pay very well!).

(Craig is actually very proud to say he writes horror but I can rib him, "having a bit of the old joshery" as they say, because he is far away and cannot punch me.)

We both released early limited edition books with strongly established horror industry vets (him with Ed Lee, me with Alan M. Clark).

We both released well-received short fiction collections mixing brutal tales with more "literary" (ie. stories about people and their ill/handicapped love ones with less pulpy content). Both collections were blurbed by one of our heroes, Chuck Palahniuk.

I am handsome. Craig is Canadian.

Both of us are producing work that makes marketing teams squirm a bit. Which is not to peg us an uncompromising artistes, but which is to say that our cross-over odds in the "literary" market are somewhat dampened by the profound number of nasty things that happen in our fiction. If either of us were luck out and "hit it big," it would much more likely be Welsh/Palahniuk/Ellroy big, versus Cussler/Roberts/Grisham big. And that's perfectly okay.

What's my point? That I think about dumb shit. And that Craig is a cool guy (due, primarily, to his similarities to me).

Word.


THIS BLOG DON'T STOP-

Here's more blog. More sweet, semi precious morsels of blog.

On the topic of blurbs. In the last year I blurbed seven (count 'em) books, from small-press chapbooks to mass market paperbacks. Which means I definitely over-blurbed myself. I don't want to become that guy from 15 Second Film Reviews in Wichita that gets blurbed for calling Miss Congeniality 2 "A spellbinding comedy and stand-up feel good hit!"

This means no blurbs for '07. I've played myself out. Some of these blurbs are in rotation, some are for books that have yet to see publication. The seven from '06:

Licker by Michael Arnzen: “Licker is a truly intoxicating, hallucinogenic whirlwind of brainbreaking freakshow fun. Arnzen’s sure-footed, fast-paced storytelling, and his willingness to fly far beyond the bounds of good taste, make Licker the one bizarre carnival ride you must buy a ticket for.”

Exposed! By Michael Heffernan: “Exposed! shines a harsh light on the myriad horrors of modern society and reports back from the fearful frontlines with wicked wit and paranoid power. From the murky waters of New Orleans to the scarred psyches of our own image-obsessed existence, Exposed! is the last headline we get to read before reality comes tumbling down.”

A Drop of Scarlet by Jemiah Jefferson: “A dead sexy and darkly beautiful page-turner, Jefferson's A Drop of Scarlet is a narcotic blood-soaked nightmare from which you'll never want to escape. This potent mix of all-too-human passion and undead horror proves Jefferson is at the head of her class when it comes to breaking hearts- and, of course, bleeding them dry.”

Counting Earps by D. Harlan Wilson: “D. Harlan Wilson's un-filtered madness is laugh-out-loud funny and crazy contagious. His Counting Earps & Other Rejekts is a room full of floating planets with nitrous oxide atmospheres, each world more brilliantly tweaked and ingeniously irreal than the last.”

The Gutter Limits by Booger Murphy: “Booger Murphy's stories squall and bleat and blast in a cacophony of lo-fi punk fiction. These grimy tales play loose with convention and smear snot on your better sensibilities. Satire, horror, politics-all of it delivered with a knowing sneer and genuine energy.”

The Troublesome Amputee by John Edward Lawson: “With this blistering salvo of poetic gutshots Lawson has proven himself Bizarro’s true bard, its mad laureate. Switching from dark whimsy to retina-blast shock to political outrage without missing a beat, The Troublesome Amputee is a powerful collection of pitch-black verse.”

New Vincent Sakowski Collection: I swear I blurbed this one but can’t find any record of it. It was pretty hypey as far as the hype goes. Vince, if you read this, please email me your blurb so I can edit it in to the blog.


INDIE PRESS BEER-

Sounds like a good idea, right? Here's the fancy label that CM3 ran up for a stern batch of homebrew that we used as part of our promo phalanx in San Francisco last year:

swallowdownale

I wish I had some right now....


ONE THING THAT MIGHT HELP ME STAY SANE-

Is submitting photos like this one to the weekly digital newsletter put out by the corporate communications group at my work:

leprechaundog1

Yes, this did run, which is great. And what's weird is that everybody sees it but nobody mentions it. No one ever says, "Hey, Jeremy, why do you keep submitting poorly modified photos of small dogs to the corporate newsletter?" It's just accepted like the papercuts and free coffee.


FALL OF AUTUMN CONTEST-

Witness a blog entry so timely that I'm announcing judging a writing contest after it's already over. I was honored to be one of three judges that indie stalwarts Fall of Autumn asked to have a go at their 2nd Annual Short Story Contest. I read every single entry from stem to stern and the following were my personal selections for the top 3:

First: "A History of Disappearances" by Wendy Spacek- There's something beautiful and sad about this prose that I can't quite pin down, but it stays with me (and for some reason reminds me of Mailer).

Second: "The Cold Insect" by Cameron Pierce- Obviously I'm a sucker for dark absurdism, and stuff that shifts between comedy and tragedy, but it was the dialogue and the closing that un-nerved me.

Third: "The Greatest Astronaut" by Simon Pole- The simple and touching sci fi of Astronaut just works.

From the look of the results it seems the other two judges agreed with me on the top pick but ventured toward capable (though less experimental) fare for the other selections.

I appreciated the opportunity to check out the wide variety of styles and voices the contest rounded together, and offer my congratulations to all the winners. Cameron and Simon, email me if you want some free shit/awards outside of the auspices of the original contest- I really liked your stories.


POWELL'S ON HAWTHORNE-

The Hawthorne Powell's was already carrying Angel Dust Apocalypse, but now they've also got copies of Extinction Journals and Siren Promised on hand. And as if that's not enough, DIY Press Advocate and Overall Badass John Barrios crafted an excellent display for Small Press month that featured two of my books. Check it out:

Powellfulldisp

Powelldetdisp

So, muchas of the gracias to John and Powell's for actively supporting literature in all its guises.


A PIECE OF "THE ADVICE"-

Sometimes people send me things to read, and sometimes I miraculously find space in my schedule to read them. And every once in a while I even get cocky enough to try and offer some advice. This was a recent response that I thought some people might dig (despite the general hackery of the example):
_____

Seldom, if ever, have one character tell another character what they both already know about themselves for the purpose of illustrating the back-story or general aspects of the characters.

Don't have a guy say, "You and me, Pedro, we forged our way through life in a hail of gunfire and regret." or whatever. Effectively that reads like the author saying, "Look, this is who these guys are and I can't be pained to reveal it in a less jarring way." Instead have the characters make reference to events in their past like old friends sharing memories, and don't force-feed the info to the reader. It doesn't have to be overt either— something like:

Pedro winced and grabbed his shoulder.

Harry hadn't seen that in a while. "Shrapnel still in motion?"

"Till the day it fucking pops out, man. My body's slow to reject it. I don't know- maybe it's 'cause it's the last thing I have to remember her by."

"Maybe it's because you deserved it. She's still messing you up, man... I never believed her when she said she'd been working explosives with the IRA."

"Yeah, well I believe her right now." Pedro grimaced and knocked back another tumbler of mescal. His face went calm for a moment excepting the areas held tight by scars. "What I can't believe is that I still miss that bitch."

The men laughed.

End.

There you go. It's barely passable but you've got your tough guys, your booze, your broads with weapons, and a hint of relationship back story and character development. It takes a little more work but it's worth it. If you go through your book and decompress those expository pieces of dialogue it'll really enrich it. And don't worry about getting it all in at the start if you're working at novel-length— you've got the space to develop it. Trust your reader to put things together. Write to your smartest reader— they'll get it.
_____

Nothing groundbreaking, just some solid advice that someone gave me once.


THE COLLABO ISSUE-

Collaborations seem to be a tough sell. Siren Promised, my gonzo art-saturated collaboration with Alan M. Clark, does well enough for an indie press release, but still hasn't gained the readership or momentum that ADA or EJ have. This despite nothing but favorable reviews/blurbs/award nominations. And I think I understand why...

Stephen King and Peter Straub
Murs and Slug
Mike Patton and Dillinger Escape Plan
Mr. Lif and Akrobatik

I enjoy all of the above artists, some quite enthusiastically. But when they decided to pair up and create something together I was reticent to check out the product. In some cases it took me months to cop the books/CD's when I would normally buy something from these folks the day it dropped.

I guess the fear was that the meeting of these respectable forces would somehow force each other to dilute what made their individual works so enjoyable. And I'm proprietary about the artists I love in a very nerdy way, and don't want some milquetoast mash-up of blended sensibilities (like that Best of Both Worlds disc with R. "You Going to Pee on My Little Girl Mr." Kelly and Hova).

But once I ventured out and gave the collaborations a whirl I found that I totally enjoyed what these artists had made together. And in some cases it felt like the collaborators forced each other to step their game up or try out new things.

So for any of my readers that might find themselves hesitant to pick up Siren Promised because its a collaborative effort, know this- working with Alan M. Clark took my storytelling to some of the strangest and some of the best places its ever been.

Another bonus point- The art is fucking KNOCKOUT. My right forearm sleeve based on one of the paintings is finally done (42 hours later). I tried to get a good shot of it but it came out like this:

Badtattooshot

Hopefully Pedro at ONA will have some very pro shots of the piece soon. It turned out great.

INFLAMMATORY QUOTE OF THE MONTH-

"Anyone who clings to the historically untrue -- and -- thoroughly immoral doctrine that violence never solves anything I would advise to conjure up the ghosts of Napoleon Bonaparte and the Duke of Wellington and let them debate it. The ghost of Hitler would referee. Violence, naked force, has settled more issues in history than has any other factor; and the contrary opinion is wishful thinking at its worst. Breeds that forget this basic truth have always paid for it with their lives and their freedoms." - Robert A. Heinlein

Good God, I just don't know how to feel about that.

AMAZON REVIEWS-



The whore in me has this basic request: If you've read one of my books, and you feel on some empirical ranking level that they warrant four stars or better, and if you might have a few nice words to say about the words I wrote, you would be an affirmed benefactor of at least one creator of weird shit if you popped off an Amazon Review (or even better, one of those Lists).

Honestly, as a micro-press author without big box exposure or a Magical Cure-All Public Oprah Book Handjob on his table, your continued support for my books on Amazon and across the net makes all the difference. Your support has already repaired my cleft palate and replaced disc C5 in my spinal column, and with your continued support I might just be able to grow a substantial beard (right now I lack the proper vitamins for any sort of real beard-luster).

Seriously, thanks to those who've already repped my work and Bizarro on the net, and advance thanks to those who will do so in the future.

Whore transmission over.


NEW VERBICIDE-



The new issue is out now, and I'm pretty sure it's the only place to find some of Fante's short fiction wedged in between Ninja Turtles and Kool Keith. For the first time in a while I did not contribute a piece to the mag, but as people who've checked out prior issues can attest, Verbicide's got a lot more going on outside of my jibber-jabber.

Speaking of Verbicide, here, at long last are the...

MARS VOLTA INTERVIEW BONUS MATERIALS-




Here, and strictly for the Volta completist, are bits of my recent interview with Cedric of the Mars Volta that were cut by the editor due to flow/page restraints. Any material in italics is Verbicide/Me (except for the very limited intro discography at the end).
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Extra intro asides-

Anyone inspired to attend a Volta concert as a result of this interview would be remiss not to devote some time to watching keyboardist Isaiah Ikey Owens work over the ivories. Because the guy is like Hendrix- he is feeling the music- and his keyboard playing is the most physically manifested stuff I’ve seen since Tori Amos started humping her piano bench.

Actually, please apply that “Hendrix” comment to the whole band. This is a group of musicians that destroy the stage like they can hear bombs whistling overhead. The Mars Volta is a group of people for whom no other life would be acceptable- they are musicians on a cellular level.

Cedric on ADA-

It's called Angel Dust Apocalypse.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. I have… I’ve been reading that. It’s really good. I like the one with the guy who has the brain on the outside of his body. And there’s the other one, too, where there’s some sort of worm going through the body of a patient that they’re keeping.

The parasite one.

Yeah, that was a great one, too. And the guy realizes he got contaminated.

And he chops off his leg with a hatchet.

Yeah. That was awesome stuff, man. Thanks for dedicating that to us.

A big chunk of that book was written while listening to De-Loused in the Comatorium and EL-P’s Fantastic Damage instrumentals, so that’s definitely part of why it turned out so jacked-up.

That’s cool.

More on Dune-

I mean, I don’t mind David Lynch’s version, I love that one. But I think Jodorowsky’s version would have been a whole lot darker.

It would have been a whole different world.

I feel like only the Harkonen’s are the darkest in [Lynch’s] movie, and I feel like everyone, even the good guys, have really dark secrets that should have been in the film.

More on Meeting Roni Size-

Some people were cool it’s just that he’s the one person that we went out of our way to say, “Hey, you really have a big influence in what we do.” And he was just a big asshole. So it kind of turned me off from all electronic music. I was like, “God, are they really that full of themselves?” I can appreciate the difference between the styles of live music. But then I just felt very defensive like, “Fuck you, man, you just press buttons.” At the same time I realized that he had a live drummer but I just felt like, “God, man, you should realize that your music is hitting people that you wouldn’t expect it to hit.”

On Language and Lyrics-

Do you prefer Spanish or English for singing/songwriting?

Sometimes Spanish has a little more depth. I couldn’t sing certain songs in English in order to get a certain sentiment across. It would have to be in Spanish. I’ll view it like this- if I’m in a foreign country and I hear something, just some sort of song on the radio, and it’s not from my era, and the lyrics might be about walking the dog or something, but to me it just sounds so… it doesn’t sound like that. It might sound like an ode to a dead lover or something. Being Chicano I tend to gravitate towards the Spanglish a lot more and Spanglish has a lot more English in it and I want to get away from that sometimes because I think the sentiment is best… its intentions are better felt through Spanish.

Original Closer-

So, with that being said, and thanks and well-wishes for the remainder of the tour being expressed, the interview was done. And much like a listener at the end of a Mars Volta album, I was left with a number of intriguing but unanswered questions- How’s the 16mm Volta movie coming along? How was it working with EL-P and are there any other hip hop artists you’re really enthusiastic about right now? Have you ever seen anyone get as amped as Ikey on the keys?- and the general, exhilarating sense that these guys are creating, and will continue to create, some of the most exciting soundscapes in modern music.

Limited Discography Sidebar-

Apparatuses Unearthed: A Micro-Guide To The Mars Volta Auditory Film-Fest

Tremulant EP- The first sonic blast. Three strange, exciting songs from a batch of musicians radically redefining their path post-ATDI. Produced by Alex Newport & The Mars Volta

De-Loused in the Comatorium- Omar later referred to this album as “restrained.” Which is like calling meth-heads “easy-going.” Viewed by many fans as their defining album, it has a pop sheen offsetting the aggressive mania of tracks like “this apparatus must be unearthed” and the beautiful but mournful tones of “televators” and “take the veil cerpin taxt.” The fact that De-Loused is a concept album celebrating the life- and chronicling the death- of Omar and Cedric’s artist/mentor Julio Venegas lends the songs extra pathos and gravity. Co-produced by Rick Rubin and Omar.

Frances the Mute- Five songs broken down into fifteen sections, this is a rough one to select mix-tape tracks from. Which is fine and likely intentional because the Volta again entered concept album territory, this time via an abstract tale about Cygnus, a fictional surrogate for late band-mate Jeremy Ward. An album filled with both transcendent and lonely moments, and some of the harshest lyrics Cedric ever penned (phrases like “lakes of blood”, “feed us the womb”, and “heaven’s just a scab away” abound). Source of the breakthrough single “The Widow” as well the brilliant “Miranda That Ghost Just Isn’t Holy Anymore.” Produced solely by Omar.

Scab Dates- The closest thing to a live Volta performance, featuring some incredibly propulsive moments and a Reich/Cage-type breakdown featuring filtered backstage chatter and sax squawks that may be a serious flashback-inducer for anyone who’s ever ingested a hallucinogen (I’m not kidding you, I’m warning you). Some vital moments here, including “b. and ghosted pouts” and a forceful “Concertina.” Produced by Omar.

Amputechture- This time the Volta drop the concepts and let each song work its own singular course. Cedric’s comparison of the songs to episodes of Lynch’s Twin Peaks holds water- there are an overwhelming multitude of whacked-out things happening in these songs, and the more you listen, the more you are simultaneously enlightened and disturbed. And, like in Peaks, sometimes the audio is running backwards. Although this is an album with very accessible moments- the simple structure of “vermicide,” the throttling groove of “viscera eyes,” or the smoky, filtered noir drums of “meccamputechture”- the biggest rewards come from repeat listens to epic tracks like “tetragrammaton” and “day of the baphomets.” Produced by Omar.

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NEW RIDE-

Newmerdeboard

It's dreamy, huh? New deck courtesy of the ever-righteous and highly recommended Merde Skateboards.

FINALLY, A COMFORT FOOD BUFFET OF OPINIONAL FUNLETS-

Lupe Fiasco's Food and Liquor- Okay, yeah, he raps about hugs and robots and skateboarding, but it has a great balance of the lighter material and on point commentary (including the super-dope gangster zombie critique "The Cool"). Probably my second favorite hip hop album of '07 next to...

El-P's I'll Sleep When You're Dead- Effortlessly badass with well-placed collabos, ridiculous production, and lyrics for days. So good I find myself afraid to listen to it, like it's challenging me to push as far as El's gone. This is a week in to listening to it, I'm sure my opinion will drain of hyperbole after time. But right now this is the best thing running.

Outkast's Idlewild- Finally copped it. Under-rated, very solid, and "Morris Brown" stays fresh on sunny days. I'm all for artistic expansion, but when Andre raps, I do find myself wishing he'd do more of that.

Nas's Hip Hop is Dead- I wish Kevin Federline would have had the balls to name his album the same thing. Nas gets a bit of Grumpy Old Man syndrome here, but there's more meat here than fat, and the opening track is among his best.

Peeping Tom- Patton=Magical, although the disc is uneven. The tracks with Amon Tobin and Massive Attack make me wish he'd work with more "electronic" artists.

Clipse's Hell Hath No Fury- It's so goddamn cold, man. If I listen to it too early in the morning it gives me The Fear. "Flow reptilian" indeed.

Game's The Doctor's Advocate- Weird goddamn album, with the chronic Dre jocking, but the production and Game's compelling flow and psychodrama keep it moving.

Muse's Black Holes and Something or the Other- Queen meets U2 meets the Volta meets politicized space opera meets Radiohead. Yeah, it feels derivative, but it's a lot of fun.

Led Zeppelin, The Eurythmics, and The Doors- All in rotation a lot recently.

M.O.P.- Where's their next album? And I'm talking a real Warriorz follow-up, not that metal thing they did as Mash Out.

D.J. Premier- I respect him more everyday.

Little Children- Jennifer Connelly gets hotter everyday, the script stays smart, and the performances are all fine tuned.

The Host- Goofy. Great monster design. I hyped it too much in my head before I went.

The Descent- Not goofy, and I keep thinking about it.

Grindhouse and Chucky P's Rant- My early impression is that both of these are going to make '07 a very entertaining year for me and a whole slew of nerds worldwide.

This blog- Bloated as fuck, but it's nice to finally see you again.

Cheers,

JRJ

12/07/2006

HOLIDAY BONANZA 2006!: All Gods Love And Fully Endorse Shopping



THE SWALLOWDOWN HOLIDAY BLITZ!:

So last Sunday a serious portion of my bedroom was on fire. And no, this isn't some double entendre about my love life because when I say "a serious portion" I mean my curtains and by "on fire" I mean ON FUCKING FIRE! After a rapid lesson is extinguisher use, much inhalation of noxious fumes, and some concerted clean-up efforts, the place is looking a-okay.

But I've now decided, in honor of the blaze that could quickly have consumed me and my residence, to launch into a full scale Holiday Bonanza Fire Sale at JRJ.com!!!

!!!

What does this mean to anyone who likes "the books"?

For the remainder of December, 2006 I will be offering a knock-down, drag-out, other-fighting-term-co-opted-for-sales emphasis type deal. Check this out:



3 BOOKS FOR THE PRICE OF 2!!!

That's right and correct!

Here's the nitty gritty- Buy any two books through JRJ.com during the same 24 hour period, and I'll ship you a third of your choice for FREE! Just indicate which freebie you'd like in the Comments section during one of your purchases in Paypal and you'll have a triumvirate of strange shit headed your way just in time for your chosen pagan ritual celebrating the Olden Tyme Things That Happened in Long Ago!

Imagine Timmy's surprise when he opens up a package containing cult favorite ANGEL DUST APOCALYPSE!

Picture the look on Sally's face when she realizes she can cozy up with a cup of gingerbread tea and Stoker Nominated psychological thriller SIREN PROMISED!

Try to grasp the profound exaltation on Grandma Margaret's wizened visage as she cracks open her new copy of the roach-riddled EXTINCTION JOURNALS!

All copies signed and customizable to your specifications! All copies physically present and actual!

Wait- there's MORE!

The first hundred shoppers will also receive a FREE bonus copy of the new issue of Verbicide!

Featuring an excellent and varied sit-down with Volta frontman Cedric (done by yours truly) along with great interviews with Converge, Rise Against, and Lupe Fiasco, this is no freebie to shake a stick at! Free seagull bones- that's a freebie to shake a stick at...

Don't miss out on this great chance to pick up some bugged-out books for you or a loved one and support the independent press and help me pay for the alveoli graft I need after Sunday's fire!

Okay, I can't type one more goddamned exclamation point... here's the latest aside from holiday madness.

THE FOUNTAIN:

I thought it was exceptional. Sure, I'm a longstanding DA fanboy, but this really did effect me. And it really did make me want to do Tai Chi in outerspace.

Hell, I'd settle for taking a pleasant nap in outerspace, so long as I woke up to all that gorgeous galactic fuzz that surrounded his tree-transit orb as he approached the dying star.

POWELL'S:

I love Powell's. You love Powell's. We all love Powell's. It's an incontrovertible fact of the bibliophile's life. Powell's is a book Mecca.

That's why I'm happy to announce that ANGEL DUST APOCALYPSE is now also available at the lovely Powell's Hawthorne store in SE Portland (3723 SE Hawthorne Blvd, Portland, OR 97214). It's easy to spot in the indie press section, just beneath the prominent Riot Lit poster. So SE PDX'ers can now pick up a copy of ADA in my part of town and join me for some greasy pizza at the Oasis Cafe.

And don't forget the awesome and inimitable the Powell's City of Books on Burnside (1005 W Burnside, Portland, OR 97209), where all of my torrid tomes are currently available.

CONGRATS:

To Bizarro braintrust Carlton Mellick III and mega-publisher Rose O'Keefe for having one of the most beautiful weddings I've ever seen. Stiltwalkers, bells, communal art, and a smuggler's cane filled with vials of liquor- straight weird class all the way.

I just wish I could remember the toast I gave. Open bars= sledgehammers to the brains of public speakers. That's a science fact. Still, I can conclusively say that an excellent time was had in every direction.

ROCK!

BARNES AND NOBLE BIG BOX STORES:

My books are showing up in these. How, I have no idea. But to those crafty employees helping the underground, and to those folks special ordering- THANKS!

PROYECTO LIQUIDO:

Check out this very classy site, which you will enjoy even more if you happen to be bilingual. Could Proyecto be the people bringing some of my weird shit to South America? Watch out GGM, I'm gunning for Colombia!

YOU TWO GUYS:

You know exactly who you are. I've asked you to finish up your novels for Swallowdown. I know they're going to be awesome. I'm excited to work with you on the editing process and can't wait to see your stuff reaching a wider audience.

So if you're reading this blog it's time to stop messing around on the internet and get back to work.

Porn and /or egg nog breaks permissible, naturally.

THE HORROR. THE HORROR.:

As much as I like writing what people call my "literary" stuff or "Bizarro" stuff, there's no denying that horror is and will continue to be a central element in my work. Here's some recently released or soon to be released proof.

Exhibit #1: A Dark and Deadly Valley

Not out yet, but coming very soon, this burly batch of WWII horror tales features a righteous line-up of modern horror masters and a new tale from me titled "Simple Equations". Currently available for pre-order at Shocklines and Silverthought Press. I can't wait to read this one myself- so many of my favorite horror folks in one place....

Exhibit#2: Cemetery Dance 56

I can't say enough good things about Cemetery Dance. They've been an integral part of my horror fiction diet since junior high, and I'm honored that there's an interview with me and a new (and apparently somewhat controversial) short story "A Flood of Harriers" in #56. People looking for a copy of this issue would do well to check out the above website, as well as Shocklines. Portland readers would, of course, be advised to pick up one of the remaining copies at Powell's. And if you can't get enough quality horror fiction you should also grab a copy of Dark Discoveries while you're there. Both are excellent reads and Dark Discoveries happens to be produced by a guy here in the northwest who definitely knows what it takes to put together a great mag.

RIOT LIT CONTEST EXTENSION:

It's good news for procrastinating indie writers who want a chance to hook up with the Riot Lit crew! For the pertinent details check this out.

HATE MAIL:

Oh, sure, I get my share. Comes with the territory. Anytime you put something out in the public you've got to expect the occasional nattering or tempestuous condemnation. They can be fun to read and show to your friends.

But lately I've been getting hate mail that's not really hate mail. It's from the Cialis/Viagra/Coxplodo spam people. They used to be more seductive, with subject lines like "Bring HeR and Over Pleasureman" or "Is AShe wondering whynnot the creem?"

Apparently they've taken on a new tack. Now they're either insulting my barbecue skills with lines like "There is an issue with YOUR tiNy sausage" and "She is thining the weeenie 2 small." Or they're confusing me by using my last name as a textual boner replacement, as in "What is the problem with your Johnson?" which I of course read as "What is the problem with you Johnson?" (a subject line not un-familiar to me, even from fans). So instead of just blocking those I charge in to respond and get hit with the thousandth specious ad for mis-spelled pharmaceuticals.

It's all adding to the ever-encroaching sense of Holiday Madness.

JIBBER-JABBER:

I've produced enough at this point. And so I bid you farewell and hope that you enjoy whatever seasonal beverages and snacks and spirits and songs you may encounter in the remaining days of December.

Fairwell, hale spirits, I pritthee thoust... um....

I think I really did take some smoke damage to the brain.

Man.

Adios,

JRJ

p.s. Thanks AGAIN(!) to POD-dy Mouth for yet another plug for ADA (this time as a mind-blowing alternative for horror kids who aren't feeling the new King book [which by the way I am actually really looking forward to since his last romance-meets-the-supernatural book Bag of Bones is a favorite King-er of mine]). Now what will I get her for Christmas? And where will I send it? Magical anonymous bloggers are tough to shop for....

10/11/2006

The Mars Volta and My Damnable Chatter

Volta:

As of November 6th, 2006 the new issue of Verbicide (#18) is hitting the streets and let me tell you, this thing is a doozy.

I mean, if you held up an old doozy, circa '96, right next to this doozy, well, you'd be astonished.

"I can't believe I used to think that was a doozy," you'd say. And you'd feel shame. Rightfully so. Knowing your doozy is important.

Why does this one qualify as a Defcon 5 Doozer-mobile? Along with coverage of some very intriguing artists like Converge and Lupe Fiasco, the new issue happens to have an interview with Cedric of The Mars Volta. And the interviewer was... doozy incoming... me!

Obviously I'm very, very excited about this. The interview was great, touching on topics like surrealism, the writing process, the Volta's musical direction, Alejandro Jodorowsky, witch burning... it's a really weird interview. Having Cedric reveal he's been reading Angel Dust Apocalypse while on tour didn't hurt, either....

I'm sure my agent will be thrilled to learn that I've segued into music journalism while she awaits my next novel. I could offer the 15% of Nothing I got for doing the piece (this was strictly for the love- I volunteered) but I'm guessing she'll let me keep those revenues. Still, I had to take this opportunity. I've been writing my weird shit to the Volta's music for years now, with Amputechture being the newest incarnation of freak-out accompaniment.

Also included in the new issue of Verbicide is a revised version of my short story "Branded" which now features some smoother sentences and less errant tense shifts. Yes, it's still gross and kind of sad, but in a more "edited" fashion.

Chatter:

Anybody interested in the old Q & A/general repartee can drop by The Lost and The Damned message board tomorrow night (10/12/06). As long as your Java biz is current you should be able to click that link, type in a name, and head into the chat within a minute or so.

My chat is part of their Bizarro Week and will start at 7PM Pacific (8PM Mountain/9 Central/10 Eastern).

Please feel free, as always, to yell, "Blitkrieg!" or other exclamatory phrases whenever the mood strikes you. I don't know why, but that cracks me up.

POD-dy Party:

Girl on Demand continued her frenzy of awesomeness last week, which included plugging my new books and keeping the world apprised of other shenanigans from Riot Lit compatriots.

She has refused my offer of marriage and a dowry. She has also refused my secondary offer to send her a box of assorted Hostess Snacks. Now that's integrity.

Opinional Funlets:

Instead of offering worthwhile, intelligent analysis of recently consumed media products, I offer the following:

The Departed- Scorcese continues to prove he's one of the finest film folks that ever breathe life into celluloid. So intense and entertaining I started grinding my teeth during the film and didn't notice until my jaw felt sore.

The Wu-Tang- Completely kicking ass out of nowhere. As evidence I offer Ghostface's Fishscale, GZA's Grandmasters, and Method Man's 4/21... The Day After. From production to lyrics to general Wu-ness, these guys are back and doing some of the best work of their careers. Makes me forgive the time Ghostface spent half a concert sitting on a speaker drinking orange juice while wearing a hotel bathrobe (which, actually, was strangely charming and apropos from such a generally idiosyncratic artist).

Adbusters- The new issue has some very strong fiction in it. They do that every once in a while.

I don't know Japanese, but am guessing this might be the right word:

Konichiwa,

JRJ

9/18/2006

Scattershot As All Get Out!

That's this post, for certain. No narrative thread. No cohesion. Just a bunch of... things, I guess. I won't even try to ascribe a value to what's going on here. You may find wisdom in here, or amusement, but don't say I didn't rule out consternation.

Item 1:

Riot Lit is here. Call me a joiner if you will, but this is another crew (like Bizarro) of writers with a lot of energy and some intriguing ideas about the literary business. And check out the website- it's sharp as an adamantium nano-syringe (not a real thing- please just imagine). Stay tuned for increasing levels of Riot Lit shenanigans...

And if you dig what you see over at the Riot Lit site, be sure to add us at MySpace so that Rupert Murdoch will know you like our ragtag squadron.

The guy behind the net-tastic good looks of the Riot Lit hub is Ryan Scott, and I'm happy to note that he's currently working on the new version of JRJ.com. Watch for that to launch and burn many a retina in October of this year.

Item 2:

Three of the writers associated with Riot Lit owe their appearance on the bookish radar to this lovely woman: PODdy Mouth. In fact, she's got a great review of DSB's new book up right now. And she was nice enough to give a shout out to my book in her recent interview with Bloggasm.

Girl on Demand, whoever you are, wherever you are, you kick ass. If you were my spoiled daughter, I swear I'd buy you a pony and coat it in gold. Thanks again for all the good mojo.

Item 3:

I'm getting very, very excited for this book.

Item 4:

Don't watch this. It's proof that YouTube is putting every wasted, worthless bit of human existence out there for pointless consumption:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eEZqJRxtzA8

Never seen an idiot with a gigantic skull spinning a coffee table book (it's about sharks) on his head while sort-of-reciting Old Dirty Bastard lyrics? I offer this cell phone footage as Exhibit A for anyone who ever mistakenly thought I was anything but a supreme nerd.

My cousin Joel put this up. He's an ass. But he's about to be a year older, so... Happy Early Birthday, You Ass!

Item 5:

If one were to check out the Honorable Mentions section of this year's edition of The Year's Best Fantasy and Horror they might come across a couple of stories by a guy I call The Me. Yup, Ellen Datlow was nice enough to include my stories "The Gravity of Benham Falls" and "Precedents" on this year's list.

Also nice to see two mentions ("A Mean Utility" and "The Apprentice's Guide to Modern Magic") for Craig Davidson on there. Congrats to all the writers who are mentioned in the book this year, and thanks are due to Ellen for reading every stitch of strange fiction published in 2006.

Item 6:

I'm currently reading a collection titled Voodoo Heart by Scott Snyder and it's wonderful. This guy can pull off strange and poignant in the space of a single sentence and has ideas bleeding out his ears (not a real malady- please just imagine). More on this book when I finish it up, but I can already recommend it. If you don't trust my rec, maybe Stephen King's gushing page-long blurb will do it for you. It did it for me.

Item 7:

Haven't checked out Riot Lit yet? Get over there and play with some floaty flash graphics, stat! They're like digital indie writer playing cards!

Okay, now I'm hungry. I done blogged myself up an appetite, and so I bid you good day.

JRJ

8/09/2006

Zeen Fare & Sliding Scale Reviews

The 2006 PDX Zine Fair

I'll be there pimping Scissor Press/Verbicide Magazine, and this year I'll also have copies of Angel Dust Apocalypse, Extinction Journals, and Siren Promised with me ($10 a pop, or 3 for $20, which is a cool deal). I'll be there for the whole event so if any NW folks want to drop by and say hello, that would be fun. Here's Verbicide editor Jackson Ellis' rundown on the event:

Author Jeremy Robert Johnson will once again represent Scissor Press at the Portland Zine Symposium in 2006. The PZS will be held on August 11, 12, and 13 on the campus of Portland State University, and Jeremy will be giving away hundreds of copies of Verbicide and selling copies of his books. For more information, visit www.pdxzines.com.

The Bizarro Books Reviewing Quandary

How does one state that the work might be overly jacked-up for the general readership but will be enjoyed by tweekers, deviants, thinkers, and drinkers? By introducing a sliding scale based on the reader's tastes. That's what Horror Wench did in this fun Horror-Web review of Extinction Journals. So, depending on who you are, this book ranks in at anywhere from 3.5 to 5 stars. Intriguing.

I want some chocolate mousse.

JRJ

7/31/2006

Audio Buggery and Warmongering

The lovely folks at the die-hard DIY site Fall of Autumn have decided it would be a good idea to have one of my stories "audiofied" and available to all comers. And so it was that I agreed and sought out my music producer muchacho Remote View to make the thing not only listenable but potentially entertaining. Clocking in at about twelve minutes of alliterative strangeness, this is a sonic rendering of my insectile short story "The Sharp Dressed Man at the End of the Line" (which happens to be my staccato ode to roaches, paranoia, and the direct style of Ellroy's The Cold Six Thousand, and also happens to be a sort of brief prequel to my novella Extinction Journals).

Remote View must have used some type of high band-pass EQ ultra-filter to make my voice sound like that. Because, really, my voice is this sort of silky smooth ultra-manly basso profundo.

It's Barry Whitey, you could say.

But don't.

Also on the fictional warfront, I just sold a short story titled "Simple Equations" to the anthology A Dark and Deadly Valley. Should end up being a very strong batch of bizarre and horrific war stories from the WWII era. With fellow contributors like Harry Shannon, Steve Vernon, Brian Keene, Brian Hodge, Graham Joyce, Gary Braunbeck (and so on) I can't wait for the thing to come out so I can read every story but my own (I know how that one ends).

Check it out- I've now got a ZineWiki entry. One can never have enough Wikis, and this one is quite nice (and a great resource for independent writer types).

And at a level of lastliness I'd like to note that I recently discovered I was born the day the original Nuclear Proliferation Act was signed into action. No wonder I've always got mushroom clouds on my mind...

Barely coherent but still typing,

JRJ

7/15/2006

Where the Hell Have I Been?

Oh, man- two months since the last blog. I can't make any excuses for that. All I can say is that I was busy with a couple of different things, one of which I'm happy to be able to finally announce:

As of today, I've officially signed to a literary agent.

I've been mulling and fretting about this decision for some time because the Needle Awards magically put me in this dream position where I had multiple agents eager to see my work- I know, it's the best kind of problem. I'm not complaining. But it can be stressful. I don't want to cross over the NY threshold meekly, and I have to be sure that I find the right agent who will place my books with the right publisher and help me reach decent enough sales that I'm viewed as viable for later publication. Slow sales tied to the ISBN of your first novel can have a nasty quicksand effect on a writer's career (or so I've heard).

So after many emails and phone calls I've decided that the agent for me is Mollie Glick with The Jean V. Naggar Literary Agency, Inc. (JVNLA for short- they represent some NY Times Bestsellers like Phil Margolin and Jean M. Auel who both also happen to be PDX'ers.). I've now signed on with her to represent my new novel TUNING FORK, and my amended collection. Mollie's previously worked in foreign rights consulting and did an editorial stint at Crown before joining on with the JVNLA team. She's got a great breadth of industry knowledge, is very well vetted industry-wide (and is an AAR member), and happens to really dig my work (I'm pretty sure that's one of the most crucial elements- to have an agent who's a real advocate for the story you're telling).

Now it's "put up or shut up" time. Somehow, in the next six or seven months I'll need to navigate my way through the following tasks-

1. Take TUNING FORK from its preliminary stages to full blown super-novel.
2. Complete 3-4 stories for anthologies I've committed to.
3. Stay on top of Swallowdown Press marketing/promotion for existing titles while trying to develop new books for the press by a few writers I've expressed interest in.
4. Relaunch JRJ.com.
5. Complete SKULLCRACK CITY (which has temporarily taken a back seat to TUNING FORK).
6. Not let all this monitor radiation melt off my face.
7. Spend less time wondering how much bone density I've lost to my soda pop addiction.

So, that's a decent list going forward. I'm excited and nervous, and can only guess that this workload will only increase my consumption of the toxic phosphoric-fructose soup that is Pepsi. Hopefully by the time my brittle bones shatter they'll have that whole "adamantium skeleton" thing figured out.

Get to it M/I Complex.

Also of interest (to me, and apparently, some very nice British people):

Somehow both Angel Dust Apocalypse and Siren Promised managed to make the final lists (in collection and novel) for this year's British Fantasy Awards (established by Ramsey Campbell). Very nice to be on there with guys like Gaiman, Wolfe, Braunbeck, Joe Hill, etc.

I'm not likely to be a front-runner for either award, but if by some miracle I won something I'd be on the next plane out. I've always wanted to eat the sort of fish and chips that actually cause small heart attacks. My friend Ben from London said I could acquire that there. And I'd like to see Bristol because I'm attracted to wet, grey cities.

Lastly-Most:

I just kicked out some free signed books (ADA/SP/EJ) in a pack for the "Hurricane Katrina Victims Fashion Charity Event" (my brain keeps transposing it as Hurricane Katrina Fashion Victims which strikes me as a particularly cruel phrase). I'm not sure when this thing hits (the MySpace page is a wee rough on the eyes) but the organizers seem to have their heads on straight (okay, aside from the layout of that MySpace page) and will also be auctioning off some signed stuff from guys like Harry Shannon and Will Clarke. So, when this thing drops it's a good chance for somebody in Alabama to score some cool books, kick out cash for a still needy cause, and add another tax write off item into their filing forms next April.

To those who've noticed my sloth- yes, this post is pretty much a copy of my recent post over at the ChuckPalahniuk.net Cult Discussion for ADA. Like I said, I'm keeping busy. Work smarter, not harder- all that.

In that same vein, here's something excellent that I'm jacking from RN Lee's ever-entertaining blog:

Chris Cunningham's New "Parasite" Video

He retains his god-like status with just under two minutes of full-fledged freakout. This guy, methinks, is special.

Waiting for summer to die,

JRJ

5/19/2006

A Plague of PromoLocusts aka Thrice the Mojo

Good mojo comes in threes, right? It must- here's my new triumvirate of crazy luck:

1. I usually wait until I'm "contract in hand" on this sort of announcement, but in this case, I couldn't wait. I just found out that Cemetery Dance will be publishing my short story "A Flood of Harriers" in Issue #56 (accompanying the interview Steve Vernon did with me). Having a story in CD's always been on my "To Do Before I Die" list, so I'm very buzzed about the news.

2. My new books (Extinction Journals & the paperback edition of Stoker Nominated novel Siren Promised) are in from the printers and finally available at Amazon.com, Powell's, Shocklines, and JRJ.com.

3. Angel Dust Apocalypse has been chosen as the most recent pick of The Official Cult Book Club at ChuckPalahniuk.net. I've offered to be a part of the discussion and it's been going great. Any fans of Chucky P and ADA are totally welcome to drop by and join in.

As a sign of karmic balance it is notable that my car pretty much exploded today (what does it mean when all the dash lights come on at once and the thing just stops?). Mojo can be fickle.

Cheers,

JRJ, Brand New Bike Commuter

What the Hell is a Meat Socket?

Honestly, that's a question you're better off not knowing the answer to. It's not as bad as, say, a "blumpkin" but it is pretty foul.

The Meat Socket is also the name of an ultra-sleazoid Canadian magazine that just released its fifth issue, titled Pornography Hurts. This thing is jam packed with truly foul content, death metal, and pics of sex acts I usually choose not to contemplate.

Somehow, amidst the filth, you can also find excerpts from my fiction, a gonzo interview with me (accompanied by photos of prolapsed colons and me reading Angel Dust Apocalypse to school children), and a graphic adaptation of my short story "Amniotic Shock in the Last Sacred Place" (seen above).

The whole experience will make you feel dirty on the inside (and maybe even on the outside). Consider yourself warned. Seriously.

Although the issue is currently up as a disc based magazine, rumor has it that the mag will soon be available online (at which point it will likely be banned).

I'm a bit chuffed that my material ended up in this issue next to hate-based cocksmith Max Hardcore and homophobe horror hip-hopper Necro, especially since (my hero) Mike Patton is scheduled to appear in issue six. Thems the breaks.

Genuine sickos- pick this up or watch for its net appearance soon. Everybody else- this shit will make you lose your lunch. Then it will make you eat that same lunch again. It's that messed up.

JRJ

p.s. The new Tool album continues to grow on me.

4/25/2006

1: EXTINCTION JOURNALS- Coming May 1st

You can survive a nuclear blast.

All you need is some luck, and maybe a customized business suit coated in cockroaches. It could work. At least that’s what Dean believed before the bombs actually dropped and his suit led him to murder a Very Important Man at the foot of a blackened obelisk.

Now D.C. is looking awfully empty. Life on Earth is pretty much coming to an end. All of which leaves Dean with a single question-“What now?” The answer to that question will take him on an uncanny voyage across a newly nuclear America where he must confront the problems associated with loneliness, radiation, love, and an ever-evolving cockroach suit with a mind of its own.

Dean’s bizarre adventures mark the last chronicle of human existence, the final entries in our species’ own…

Extinction Journals
“DUCK AND COVER, BITCHES! Jeremy Robert Johnson answers the call to glory with his intimately insectoid mini-epic of apocalypse, Extinction Journals: a trip far weirder and more fucked up than it has any right to be. Just like these times.”
John Skipp, author of Conscience, co-author/editor of The Scream, Mondo Zombie, and Book of the Dead

Extinction Journals is like a Twilight Zone episode made without Standards & Practices telling Serling he couldn't feature any human/insect love scenes. Move over Chris Genoa- there's a new sexy genius in town.”— Chris Genoa, author of Foop!

“Johnson swirls just enough lucidity and knowing, zombie-Vonnegut hilarity into his bizarro fable of mutually assured delirium to make me question my own sanity. Until science finds a cure for whatever ails this boy, we can only hope to bask in the cool plutonium glow of his weaponized mind... and start collecting cockroaches.”
Cody Goodfellow, author of Radiant Dawn and Ravenous Dusk

2: SIREN PROMISED- Coming to Paperback May 1st

Angie Smith and Curtis Loew are having dreams they can’t shake. At the heart of each is Angie’s daughter, Kaya. Angie’s dreams end in death, the spreading of hand-shaped bruises across her daughter’s throat. Curtis’ dreams end in something else, something closer to obsession than love.
Angie is worlds away, trying to keep her drug-shattered mind from falling apart, traveling through an American underbelly filled with inhuman shapes, dark whispers and old friends with empty eyes.
Curtis is Kaya’s new neighbor. He’s getting closer to her, and her mentally unstable grandmother, Colleen. He’s had families before, but he’d always made mistakes. Mistakes that led to new names, new towns. But this one time, he swears, things will all work out. He’s got so much love to give.
The Bram Stoker Award Nominated Novel
Siren Promised
Featuring an introduction from author Simon Clark, over thirty illustrations by Alan M. Clark and an afterword by the book’s creators, Siren Promised sets a new benchmark in visual and written storytelling.
"Using Alan M. Clark's gorgeously dark fantastique artwork to springboard the lush, compelling, often raw storyline forward, Johnson and Clark have created a unique literary atmosphere full of dread and wonder. This is a synergistic fusion of major talents that seethes with the black, beautiful energy of nightmares made real."— Tom Piccirilli, author of Headstone City and A Choir of Ill Children

“I have just one word for you – DAMN! By the time I was done reading I was wondering about the purpose in my own life; they left me with an emptiness I didn’t even know existed.”— Horror-Web.com

"What makes Siren Promised such a towering achievement is the rare skill that both men possess to transform their personal experiences into a work of such visionary power. It's harrowing, it's horrific, it's moving, and it's mesmerizing.”— Simon Clark, From the Introduction

Siren Promised is a page-turner. Johnson and Clark are masters of their crafts…”
Verbicide

Siren Promised is a tale of addiction and legacy and rebirth. It is spontaneous and compelling. Dark, sordid characters, bound together like weaving vines of a bog rose. A haunting tale that will surprise you constantly. I recommend it highly.”— Cemetery Dance Weekly

3: SIREN PROMISED/JRJ Interview at SCI FI WIRE

This just popped up today. It's a pretty cool short piece about Siren Promised and the Stoker Awards at the Sci Fi Channel's net news section:

Siren Promised in the Realms of SCI FI

Big thanks to JJA for taking the time to conduct the interview, and to the SCI FI Channel for always playing that Frankenfish movie.

Okay, that's enough gumption from me,

JRJ

p.s. It turned out that JJA had some quality leftovers from our interview that he couldn't use in the SCI FI WIRE piece, so he posted the rest of the Q&A at his blog:

The Slush God Speaketh

It's pretty much the only place I've ever used the phrase "burrito party."

4/21/2006

Chit Chat of the Damned!

CHAT WITH JEREMY ROBERT JOHNSON, MONDAY APRIL 24TH

On Monday, April 24th I'll be the guest author for the “Message Board of the Damned” weekly author chat. It starts at 6:00pm PDT (7 MST, 8 Central, 9 EDT) and lasts for an hour or two depending on how many people show up and whether I decide to answer all questions monosyllabically or en espanol.

I’ll be officially announcing the release of my next two books (and talking about my new imprint Swallowdown Press) at the chat, which is pretty exciting. I’m also open to questions about the Stoker Awards, Bizarro, socialism, parasites, sharks, etc. If any of that is of interest to you then meet me at Message Board of the Damned on 4/24/06.

NOTE:

You might want to come early to sign up for a Message Board of the Damned account. It's free and easy, but might take a few minutes to sign up. You probably won't need to sign up if you already have an EZBoard account.

Also, once you’re signed up you’ll be able to come back on 5/1/06 and chat with New York Times Bestselling author John Skipp whose ninja-like skill with banter will make your minor effort all the more worthwhile.

INFO OF POTENTIAL BENEFIT FOR THOSE NEW TO “THE CHATTING”:

Please use the ‘?’ method to get your place in the queue. Don’t blurt out questions. Make sure the patient folks ahead of you have had a chance to ask their questions.

Please feel free to randomly shout the word “Blitzkrieg!” should you find that amusing (as I do).

Also, no side conversation while the chat is in progress. It tends to jack the flow. There will always be a free-for-all period after the official chat has ended.

I think that’s about it. Hope to see you there!

Bout It,

JRJ

p.s. The chat is now done, and here's a link to the Transcript for those interested.

4/11/2006

Swallowdown, Chat, Stokers, Hype & Powell's Re-Restocked

This is the new custom logo for the micro-press I'm launching in May of 2006. Much thanks to Alan M. Clark for the design job and for coming up with the elegant and slightly disturbing image (that bird doesn't necessarily look too healthy).

Swallowdown Press is a Bizarro imprint- much like Carlton Mellick III's Avant Punk- that will release its own weird books while still marching to the communal lit tune established by Eraserhead Press. Inspired by the DIY ethos of guys like Ian MacKaye, Jim Munroe, and, of course, CM3, Swallowdown Press will strive to release underground books at overground levels of quality.

Basically what it is right now is a cool label that you'll be seeing on brand new weird work coming from me. Will it become more than that in the future? Perhaps. Some have suggested that the press name might also be appropriate should I decide to start releasing gay erotica. They were joking, but I've heard there's good money in that market, so we shall see (tweedling fingers and stroking waxed-and-curled moustache like a greedy corporate bastard).

Want to hear more about the upcoming books from Swallowdown? Make sure to come visit with me at 6:00pm PDT on April 24th, when I'll be doing a live chat at The Message Board of the Damned. I know I've been evasive about upcoming releases so far, but I'll be spilling all the beans and half a can of soda at the chat, I swear.

I can tell you that I should have some lovely cover art for EXTINCTION JOURNALS to show you by the beginning of next week. Oh, and here is the back cover copy, for folks who can't get enough of vague promotional text:

You can survive a nuclear blast.

All you need is some luck, and maybe a customized business suit coated in cockroaches. It could work. At least that's what Dean believed before the bombs actually dropped and his suit led him to murder a Very Important Man at the foot of a blackened obelisk.

Now D.C. is looking awfully empty. Life on Earth is pretty much coming to an end. All of which leaves Dean with a single question- "What now?" The answer to that question will take him on an uncanny voyage across a newly nuclear America where he must confront the problems associated with loneliness, radiation, love, and an ever-evolving cockroach suit with a mind of its own.

Dean's bizarre adventures mark the last chronicle of human existence, the final entries in our species' own...…

Extinction Journals
So there's that.
Some other news of interest- SIREN PROMISED has been officially nominated for a 2005 Bram Stoker Award (in the First Novel category) by the members of the HWA. The Stoker is like the Oscar of the horror world, so I'm very honored and excited to be included among the nominees (including Weston Ochse and Kealan Patrick Burke in our category, and lesser knowns like King, Palahniuk, Mieville and Barker in others). Clark and I won't find out if our little dark horse of a book will take home the prize until mid-June, but in the meantime I threw myself a burrito party- that's the kind of party where I eat a giant burrito(!)- just for being nominated. Here's a link to the Final Ballot to give you an idea of the kind of excellent writing that's up for the award this year.
Hype! I love me some hype! And thanks to some kind words and a Needle Award nomination from the incredibly cool Girl on Demand at POD-dy Mouth, I've been nearly coated with "the hype" for the last few weeks. No, I didn't win the coveted Needle Award, but just being a nominee sent a modest cavalcade of interested New York literary agents in my direction. Although most have agreed that ANGEL DUST APOCALYPSE is doing what it's doing just fine, the real interest from New York has been in seeing a new novel from me. I can't fathom not returning that interest so I've already started work on a new book tentatively titled TUNING FORK.
That's all I can tell you about it right now, since the novel is only in partial outline form and I haven't officially signed on with any agents yet- but things are looking very interesting. Hopefully I'll have more info on this front soon, although I may not actually end up agented until I've written this new book, which I'm hoping to do by 3rd quarter of this year. Crazy...
Finally, I wanted to offer another big THANK YOU to the Portland people who've been heading into Powell's Books (1005 W Burnside Street, Portland, OR 97209) to pick up copies of ANGEL DUST APOCALYPSE. It has already sold out once since I announced its inclusion as a featured small press title last blog. I love heading down there to deliver new copies (gives me a chance to loiter and check out a bunch of magazines while feeling like I'm doing "work"), so much love is due to the Portlanders who have been picking up the weird little book. One of the agents I was speaking with last week said Portland and Seattle are two of the biggest, most supportive literary communities on the planet, and I believe him.
I think that's enough info dump for now. On a personal note I'd like to offer my best wishes to my friend Kane who just joined the Coast Guard and is now somewhere in NJ learning how to be a military man. Glad we got to party, play poker and pool, check out Chappelle's Block Party and Slither, etc. last week. Sorry I never found you a Last Detail-style hooker with one eye to give you syphillis. Hope basic training's going awesome, man. You'll be fighting sea pirates and dope smugglers in no time!
Should have the EJ cover and more chat news next week...
JRJ